My new reality

I can’t even explain how I feel. Throughout this whole trip I have not been enjoying Africa like I normally do. Mostly because I’m not just experiencing it for three short weeks where I can take everything it while it lasts, but instead for an extended period of time. Leaving my parents I thought would be very easy, I’ve gone weeks at a time without them when I’ve gone on mission trips. This time is much different though. When the team was preparing to leave is when I started sobbing, (not just crying, but SOBBING) and I’m not even a crier. The thought of staying in Africa without my family all of the sudden seemed scary. My security blanket is gone for the first time and the honeymoon phase is over.

Everything I’m doing that is a struggle is not just some short-term thing, but this is my new reality. This will be my new normal. Taking a shower is much more difficult when you have to go get water, then take a freezing cold bucket shower. The food was very good when the team was here in comparison to what we get to eat now. For breakfast we get a cup of tea and three slices of white bread, lunch today was beans….. just beans and for dinner we had ugali and suka, which is maze flower that has no taste and is super thick with collard greens cooked down. I am so thankful we have food, but as a westerner it has honestly been a bit of a struggle. I have noticed that most of the white people who live on base live in a house and cook their own meals, or prepare food to go along with whatever the meals are for the day.  I however do not have a kitchen, so I will be eating what everyone else eats.  Going into town is also challenging, you don’t just hop into a car and go.  You walk over a mile to the main rode where you catch a dolla dolla (a bus that is crammed full with 20 people when it really only seats 12) then walk to wherever you have to go, then you do the same thing all over again to get back. It is really an all day adventure. Not to mention hand washing all your laundry…  

Although there are many things that are a struggle, I know this is where God wants me. When a nice warm shower, a good meal and my nice warm bed sound so comforting, I have to remember that I’m not here to live for myself. I am here to be a living sacrifice for God. I will be honest, I have cried several times since my family left on Thursday, and probably will again. In those moments all I want to do is come home.  I wish in the post I could be more encouraging, but this is what has been going on.   Please continue to pray for me! 

I wrote that a few days ago, but haven't posted it because we keep losing power/internet. Since I wrote this I have been doing much better! There are three other couples from America that are living on base for awhile and have been super helpful. I have started getting my own produce to add to meals and the home sickness is going away. There has also been a lot of free time for me to read and spend time with God. Everyone has been encouraging and been such a blessing here on the base. Only about a week and a half until the DTS starts! Thank you for all your prayers :)